How My Shadow Work Turned Trauma Into Spiritual Gifts

Trigger warning:

*sexual assault


I was called to share with you a pivotal moment in my life that has shaped my spiritual journey and also has created healing in my life, which led to more spiritual gifts than I ever thought possible.


When I was 18 and in high school, I was at a house party and was sexually assaulted and raped. Despite this being a horrific event, I didn’t tell anyone. I went through cycles of knowing how terrible it was, and yet wondering why I didn’t do more to stop it. I ended up blaming myself for allowing myself to be subjected to something so terrible. It was out of this shame and embarrassment that kept me from telling anyone close to me. 


Once I got to college, I did end up telling a few close people, none of which knew exactly how to respond as they weren’t trained counselors. Again, I knew that event was impactful but I didn’t understand just how it affected me or what to do.


About 9 months ago, I was at a 3 day spiritual in-person course with two of my spiritual mentors. One of the mornings before the workshop, I was at the gym on the treadmill. I asked my spirit guides (yes I often speak with them on the treadmill!) why my college years were full of unhealthy boundaries and challenging romantic relationships. I wanted to understand so I could heal myself during this 3-day workshop and have a focus that I could work on.


On that treadmill that day, I received a vivid flashback of that night many years ago. There was my answer. It honestly had been a long time since I remembered that night.


Wanting more clarity and guidance, I brought up my experience during the workshop (it was SO hard to speak out loud what had happened). In the moment I uttered it out loud I realized how much this experience had affected me on an energetic and subconscious level, even if it wasn’t in the forefront of my mind daily. It not only affected my relationships in college- it affected my marriage, my business, and my self-esteem. That day I felt the same guilt and shame I had the day it happened- because I hadn’t done more that night or fought back. 


After applying spiritual tools and speaking with others about this event, I was able to heal some of the pain that was lingering from this event. I do believe that healing is continually occurring for me, and that it will continue to be healed as I apply spiritual principles to this pain.


What I wanted to share in this blog post is that after going through this healing process, my spiritual gifts began to show themselves more and more.


I began to be able to see things I couldn’t see before. I began to be able to open to life force even more. I began to feel joy that I hadn’t ever felt or experienced. 


I learned that through healing there was a tapping of spiritual gifts. That on the other side of the healing, was a side of life that I hadn’t had the joy of experiencing yet. I became better at healing others with energy. My third eye became wide open. My claircognizance and psychic medium abilities became more and more potent and accurate.


My spirit guides have told me that in healing yourself, you are opening up your spiritual gifts. 


And they have asked me to share this with you (they actually woke me up two times last night to make sure I got the message).


If you’re reading this- it’s not by accident.


I gently nudge you to become aware of the subconscious beliefs and past injuries that are keeping you from who you really are and all of your God-given gifts.


In sharing this deeply personal experience, it is my desire to inspire you to have the hard conversations. To remember the painful memories so you can ultimately bless them. To forgive yourself and forgive others. These experiences have shaped you into the person you are today- and when healed can reveal a power that is definitely of a higher realm. 


In forgiveness, there is love. And this love is so much more powerful than the earthly experiences we are meant to go through in this human lifetime. 


If this post resonates with you, please let me know. I have no purpose other than to share my story. But my spirit guides have told me some people needed to hear this. I would love to know if maybe it was you. 


Much love,


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